By the Grace of God

This is a little out of my comfort zone, but I guess that's where God likes me. That's where He likes all of us. Vulnerable and broken of our ways, with only Him left to lean on.

In June of 2011 I went to Haiti. While that was a life-changing experience in and of itself, it had no competition against what meeting my 2 'future' siblings would do to me.

For the better part of my life our family has been trying to adopt. First locally, then we moved on to internationally. It wasn't that big of a deal to me, at first. We'd been trying and anything but succeeding for a while and this was just another try. Well, that's what we thought. We thought we weren't succeeding, that's what it felt like.

But then we were thrown into 2 little lives, that would change ours. Forever.

 When I met them, I fell in love completely. So it's no wonder why my mom did also. 

But as time went on, more and more complications kept coming up with the adoption. It became more of a heartache than a blessing, more hurtful than joyful, and we were all worn out. But my mom kept fighting. She hasn't given up, even to this very day. And I respect her so much for that. It's taken so much for her to keep going. 

Even though I haven't told her yet, she's set an amazing example of endurance for all of her kids. So, when we finally succeed, which I have faith that we will, and the Lord decides to bring those kids into our home, they're going to see that their mama never gave up. 

Although I didn't tell many people this, I did give up. In my pure selfishness I gave up. I said "there's too much back and forth, I can't deal with this anymore." or  "I'm too young to be worried about this, I don't want to know anything else. If it happens, it happens, until then don't tell me about it." 

It hurts me to write those words. The fact that I could have so much selfishness in my heart makes me sick. But God knew where I was at. And he let me be there. He let me wallow in self pity and selfishness.

Until today.

Today He woke me up, smacked me around a little and then graciously showed me a way that I could help out.

He showed me my selfishness of letting my mom carry the burden of raising money, of being here and not there with them, of being strong emotionally. That's not how it's supposed to be. Galatians 6:2 says "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

Sometimes I forget, in all the 'mom' stuff, that my mom is still my fellow sister in Christ. Or however that works. We're still bound in Christ, and I can't deny that.

So how can I help her? How can I make this a little bit easier? I'm not really sure.

But I'll start by this: If you're feeling led to help out financially, please, please PLEASE do.

It's really the only thing left standing in our way. And we now have a deadline. SO if you know anyone who is looking for a way to help out, or you yourself are feeling lead to help PLEASE make it happen. My mom has been trying and we haven't been getting too much response. Not to say we haven't been blessed through the whole journey by so many, and we are so grateful for that. And we still need your help!







So this is my way of trying to branch out to a new group of people. I know you may not have extra money laying around (I mean who does in this economy? Not most people) BUT there are some that do. Or that are willing to sacrifice to help out. So maybe it's not you, but I'm sure you know someone. So please get the word out there. Talk to your friends about it, your friends parents, everyone. Please help us bring these sweet babies home.

Thank you.

xKassiex

Life's a Journey

I've been encouraged multiple times recently to write about my story. To go back to day one and write down my journey. Whoa. Just thinking about that makes me want to crawl under a rock.

Not because I don't want to, but because I know I have to. And it's going to be HARD. And it's going to take a lot of time. Lots of fear and tears and emotions, and searching my heart and racking my brain.

My story is a little bit different from everyone else's. But if I know that one person can benefit or someone can be left with a sense of comfort it will be worth it. So for now, I'll write down the bullet points, little memories that come to mine. It's gonna be a long story. It's a long journey.

Maybe one day I can get it all together and have a beautiful piece of work that marks God's hand all throughout my life so far. That's my prayer.

xKassiex

Country Boy's World

No, this post is not about some country Prince Charming that I met. I wish. But it IS about my Savior, who far surpasses any country boy, or his truck.

Preparing for my flight back home from the Dominican Republic after a month, got me thinking about my flight out of my home state and then out of my country.

I love my country, I'm not a super political person (ok, who am I kidding, I know nothing about politics) but I do know that I love North Carolina. I really don't ever want to leave, so I told the Lord that unless he picks me up and puts me somewhere else, I plan to stay. This is home for me. My family is here, my friends are here, my amazing church is here. SO, as far as I'm concerned, I'm staying. We'll see what the Lord has planned for me.

Let's just say I..HATE..flying. Every part of it: the airport, security, taking off, landing, baggage claim, customs. ALL OF IT. It stresses me out to no end.

I mean I'm not sure why anyone would think this is fun.

But on the way out of the US I had a super-natural peace. Security went very smoothly, I found my gates without any problem, I even had someone to talk to on my flight from Miami to Puerto Plata.

My least favorite part, however, is landing. The no electronics thing really kills me. SO I plugged into the American Airlines country radio station, ya know, the one that only plays one hit wonders and lots of old Taylor Swift? What can I say, desperate times call for really desperate measure. But as we were landing Country Boy's World by Jason Aldean came on, which just so happens to be one of my favorite songs that isn't on regular radio.

I know you guys are laughing right now. It sounds really silly, I know. And the fact that I'm writing about Jason Aldean is probably making you want to stop reading. But don't..that's not why I'm writing. I won't go off on a tangent about how much I love his music..or him. ;)

Preparing for both of my flights I prayed countless times that the Lord would comfort me. In some way that I'd be able to recognize that He was there with me. And, although small, I was still comforted. He knows what puts my heart at peace and He put those things in my path through all of my traveling.

On the way home I met a team from a church in TN. They were the sweetest people I've ever met in my life. They started talking to me and then invited me to dinner in Miami with them and helped me through customs. It was perfect. God always knows exactly what I need, right when I need it.

I am so grateful for those sweet people from TN and for God's grace and close comfort through my travel.

This got me thinking even more. What little comforts do we miss that God puts in our daily path? When we're at wits end with our pre-nursing classes and don't think we're cut out for it only a month into it (oh, maybe that's just me). What are we missing in the business of life? I can guarantee it's a lot. Because when I take the time to slow down and listen to God, he blows me away. Every time.

So maybe this a challenge for you, but mostly for me: To stop with the craziness of this overrated life we're living here on Earth and look up, and have renewed hope of the eternal life we're working toward everyday.

xKassiex