A Week.

Not just a normal week. But a week, at that. Starting out with my parents leaving the country, at the same time, and ending with a little bit of heartbreak but a whole lot of love. A week where my past flew back into my face and my present looked a lot more like my past. A week where I watched the people I love so dearly spiral down and back up before I could even express how much I love them. A week where I was reminded daily what the Lord brought me out of and that it is never again an option. A week where I was thankful for the faithfulness of my Savior. That He prepared me for this week before I even knew what was going to happen. Thankful that He prepared me to fight, and finish well. A week where, although I was forced to think about the dark places in my past, He was there shining light on it, making it that much less appealing to me. I now know how my actions affected others and how badly I have hurt people in the past. The Lord strategically put these people and events in my life so that I would know the extent of the pain I caused. Like a mother watching her child suffer through a broken heart-only 10x worse. Because this broken heart isn't from a boy, it's from the child herself. It's a personal struggle and nothing and no one but the Lord can fix it. It's a mess, a hole, a deep pit and I am thankful everday of my life that the Lord gently pulled me out of it with no effort of my own. So thank you, all of you who stuck around after the heartache, thank you for not leaving me even when it hurt, and Thank you to my Savior for a week. Another week. 7 days. 7 days to remember who He is and what He's brought me through and that He so graciously healed all my wounds.

xKassiex

Waiting

Waiting. The ultimate test of patience. The action that this society fails to achieve everyday. One of the hardest things to do, ever. Patiently, and not so patiently at sometimes, waiting has been a part of my life for about 4 years now. Adoption. What a great thing, a great blessing to all. Until you're waiting 4 years for something that seems so simple. Just an addition to your family. We're not asking for a miracle, just some new babies. It's so easy to see this as a burden. Easy to fall into the pool of self-pity, and drown. But is that what we're supposed to focus on? Are we supposed to focus on how long we've been waiting or how hard it is? Sure, we can recognize it. See that it's hard and we feel hopeless. But I think where we go wrong is focusing on that. Instead of focusing on the blessing behind it all, we focus on how hard it is. As cliche as that sounds, it's true. Maybe if we spend our time trying to find the blessing in the trial instead of how to make ourselves "happier," we might find something better. Sometimes it's not about being happy. It's about still knowing who you are in the Lord when things get rough. Not turning to another vice to get through a trial. No matter what it is. From turning to self-destructive behavior to something as small as escaping to the internet, when things get hard, it all takes away from what God is doing in the midst of a trial. None of these things can give us hope or a future. Nor patience for waiting on something the Lord is right in the middle of. So let's take our eyes off the struggle and put it on our Glorious Savior. The only One who can give us true patience and peace in our trials.

xKassiex

Thanksgiving

(Written on Thanksgiving Day)


Today is a day where everyone stops for a day to remember what they're thankful for. Or maybe not even a full day, just a half. Or just long enough to catch their team playing football. And to me it gets really corny and 'omg I'm so thankful for you" or "what would I do without you in my life? die." But I am truly thankful. And I don't mean it in the "omg it's Thanksgiving day" kinda way. I mean it. From the very bottom of my heart. And it's not just on Thanksgiving that I remember all the things I am blessed with. I try to remember it everyday. But I have been thinking about it especially this past week, up to this holiday. This is the first Thanksgiving in 2 years that I've been healed. Completely free. And I've never felt this kind of freedom. It's glorious. And it is only by God's grace and faithfulness in my life that I am healed. This is a time of giving thanks. And I am thankful for everything I've been through. Everything my past has brought into my life. Pain, joy, sadness, love, grief, and happiness. All the same, I'm thankful for it. It has brought people into my life, that I love with all my heart, but also that I never would have connected with aside from sharing a similar path. They've taught me how to love through hard times. They've helped make me a stronger and more firm individual. Whether I wanted to or not, sometimes I just had to be firm. I want all of these wonderful people to experience the joy and unconditional love that I now feel everyday. I've been able to see, the hard way, but see none the less, that the Lord truly is faithful and has and ultimate plan for my life. So this year I'm thankful for a lot. I'm still thankful for my family, friends, shelter..All of that. But most importantly I am thankful for my Savior Jesus Christ and His faithfulness in my life.

xKassiex

Blogging?

I'm not really the blogger type..but I love to write. I love to reflect. I love to look back on things I've written and see where I am in life compared to then. So though I'm busy and won't have much time to write, this can be a place where maybe a few people read but mostly a place to record my reflections and the Lord's work throughout my life.

xKassiex