A Week.

Not just a normal week. But a week, at that. Starting out with my parents leaving the country, at the same time, and ending with a little bit of heartbreak but a whole lot of love. A week where my past flew back into my face and my present looked a lot more like my past. A week where I watched the people I love so dearly spiral down and back up before I could even express how much I love them. A week where I was reminded daily what the Lord brought me out of and that it is never again an option. A week where I was thankful for the faithfulness of my Savior. That He prepared me for this week before I even knew what was going to happen. Thankful that He prepared me to fight, and finish well. A week where, although I was forced to think about the dark places in my past, He was there shining light on it, making it that much less appealing to me. I now know how my actions affected others and how badly I have hurt people in the past. The Lord strategically put these people and events in my life so that I would know the extent of the pain I caused. Like a mother watching her child suffer through a broken heart-only 10x worse. Because this broken heart isn't from a boy, it's from the child herself. It's a personal struggle and nothing and no one but the Lord can fix it. It's a mess, a hole, a deep pit and I am thankful everday of my life that the Lord gently pulled me out of it with no effort of my own. So thank you, all of you who stuck around after the heartache, thank you for not leaving me even when it hurt, and Thank you to my Savior for a week. Another week. 7 days. 7 days to remember who He is and what He's brought me through and that He so graciously healed all my wounds.

xKassiex

Waiting

Waiting. The ultimate test of patience. The action that this society fails to achieve everyday. One of the hardest things to do, ever. Patiently, and not so patiently at sometimes, waiting has been a part of my life for about 4 years now. Adoption. What a great thing, a great blessing to all. Until you're waiting 4 years for something that seems so simple. Just an addition to your family. We're not asking for a miracle, just some new babies. It's so easy to see this as a burden. Easy to fall into the pool of self-pity, and drown. But is that what we're supposed to focus on? Are we supposed to focus on how long we've been waiting or how hard it is? Sure, we can recognize it. See that it's hard and we feel hopeless. But I think where we go wrong is focusing on that. Instead of focusing on the blessing behind it all, we focus on how hard it is. As cliche as that sounds, it's true. Maybe if we spend our time trying to find the blessing in the trial instead of how to make ourselves "happier," we might find something better. Sometimes it's not about being happy. It's about still knowing who you are in the Lord when things get rough. Not turning to another vice to get through a trial. No matter what it is. From turning to self-destructive behavior to something as small as escaping to the internet, when things get hard, it all takes away from what God is doing in the midst of a trial. None of these things can give us hope or a future. Nor patience for waiting on something the Lord is right in the middle of. So let's take our eyes off the struggle and put it on our Glorious Savior. The only One who can give us true patience and peace in our trials.

xKassiex