Joyfully

"What joy, what joy for those whose hope is in the name of the Lord. What peace, what peace for those whose confidence is Him alone!"

This song really captures how it feels to have hope and peace in the Lord. 

Pure joy. 

You don't always feel it. But when you do, it fills you up to overflowing. 

When you're focusing on God and not on Earthly things, and how you can make yourself happy, He can blow you away with His timing.

I've been working on that a lot lately. Trying to find my hope and peace in God instead of searching this world for things, or people, that will satisfy me. And let me tell you, He's blowing me away.

I was trying to call my friend's phone the other day, and since I'm out of the country I have to use Skype. Well, my account was out of credits so I got on my dad's account. Much to my surprise and delight one of my favorite people in this whole world was online.

It's been forever since I've talked to her. After she moved everything got busy. (When I say forever, I really mean less than a year, but that's forever in my book. Going from everyday to almost a year, that's forever.)

I was ECSTATIC. Like a little girl in a candy shop. I was giddy and giggly the whole time. I couldn't even contain my excitement. 

It was so good to see her sweet face. And her sweet little boy. I love that little guy. I wish I could've gotten to know her husband more before they left, but I'm sure there will be a time.

It was so good to see her and know that she's doing well. E-mail just doesn't cut it sometimes. Although she answers (MOST) of my e-mails, it's still so great to see her face.

She has been through so much with me. Thick and thin, she never gave up on me. 

And I'm forever grateful for that.

I never would've guessed that a teacher would turn out to be someone that I respected so much, and walked so closely with, throughout high school and into college.

I've come so far in my life and my walk with the Lord since I saw her last. I wish she could be here to walk side by side with me through this next part of my life. But, apparently that wasn't in the Lord's plan. And that's ok. I'm really proud of her and what she's doing now, even though it's not what I would've chosen. :)

If it was MY plan, she'd be right here helping me study for this dang math entry exam that's looming over my head. And sitting on her front porch sipping tea, reading, talking, laughing and crying. Her face lighting up when she sees me making progress in anything.

She's really good at that. She makes you feel so accomplished over the smallest things. Like every baby step you take is a huge leap in her eyes. That's one of my favorite things about her. It's really refreshing from the negative world we live in today.

I really miss her, a lot. Her smile, her laugh and her sweet, soft, yet (often) confrontational words and advice. (what can I say, I was a freshman in high school, I needed it. Don't we all? :))

OH, and her awesome teaching. She was by far THE best teacher I've ever had. She's the best, I can guarantee.

Her face will light up any room she walks into, and I know she's lighting up rooms all over the place now. I just can't wait to see her face in person again.

Until then..If I could say only one thing to her, it would be: Thank you.

I don't think I ever really told her that when she was home.
But I am so thankful for her life in mine.
For what she has invested in me and my life.
For the emotions she felt for me when I wasn't really sure what to feel.
For all the time, tears and laughs she poured into our relationship.
And for the effort she continues to give to keep up with me and my life.

So...thank you, thank you, thank you.

A million times, thank you.

I love you.

xKassiex

Friends of God

During one of the night worship times we were singing Nothing but the Blood. A song that we've all sung countless times.

I think that sometimes when we know a song that well, the words lose their power. Kind of like we're mindlessly just singing the melody while our mind wanders elsewhere: who we're gonna hang out with after, what kind of pizza we're gonna have delivered to the dorm, and unfortunately, the reality of the to-do list we have when we get home. Any number of things can go through our minds while we're singing words that have lost their meaning.

To me that's not very worshipful. So when I find my mind wandering, I stop singing and just read the words on the screen. So that's what I did during this song. Just read the words, and closed my eyes listening to the many voices in the room singing and worshipping the same God.

As I was listening, one lyric hit me really hard. It wasn't new or different, but just focusing on the words can point out lyrics you never really paid attention to before: "welcomed as the friends of God." It took my breath away.

That God would welcome us, not just 'let' us, but welcome us. As friends. When we had done absolutely nothing to deserve it, while we were filthy and ashamed, He welcomed us all the same.

I think we have the tendency to choose our friends based on our similar interest. What activities we're involved in, mutual friends, even sometimes looks.

As if the lyric didn't hit me hard enough, the pastor got up and read 1 John 5:1 "Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child has well."

He welcomed us when we were dirty and broken, as friends.

So who are we to choose or not choose people, to be our friends, because of their circumstances?

We have to love them if we love God. No matter how different we are, how weird we think that person is, what our other friends think..it doesn't matter. If we love God we will love His children. Because we're "Welcomed as the friends of God."

xKassiex

Creed Reflection-Better Late Than Never, Right?

Creed is always an emotional week. Everyone laughs, everyone cries, everyone has a good time, someone always loses their key. Although, this time, that someone would be me. *what's that sound? Oh, that's $25 going down the drain.* 

We stay up way too late, dance to funny songs, and eat way too much junk food. Usually because the food is, well, camp food. It's always a good time. All emotions and joking aside, though, we have to step back and see what happened spiritually. 

This year our topic was Assurance in Faith. We had some really great teachers to sit under and I walked away very assured. This year was more of a silent moving in my heart, instead of a very emotional response, which I think is better. For me, at least. 

I've seen so many people tweeting and updating their statuses saying how they never keep up with what they learned or experienced at Creed. That the week they get home they go right back to being their normal selves. Not changed in the least.

I think sometimes we get caught up in the emotional high that comes from being at camp and not really being able to escape hearing about Jesus. 'Forced' to do a quiet time. It just kind of all falls into place. But to me, the more important part is what we come away with and what we bring back home. 

We can cry every night, jump and dance in worship, know all the songs by heart by the end of the week, but if we don't daily remind ourselves what we learned..We'll never walk away truly changed. It's the invasive and uncomfortable stuff that happens, in the heart, that matters. 

Some people walk away really changed, some people walk away with the same dark secret they came with and go right back home to it. 

1 John 1:5-7 says "..God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." 

I don't know about you, but no where in that passage does it say "if you jump up and down and sing really loud at church camp, you are in fellowship with Jesus." So, as uncomfortable as it is, you have to rip away the surface and deal with what's underneath to really start to change. 

As much fun as this can be..

This...

And this...

And as much as I LOVE this sweet time every year...

Are we really focusing on this?

freefoto.com

Because in the end isn't that why we're here? 

To bring glory to Him?

Sure, it's hard. And seems impossible. But do you really think dying on a cross for someone else is any easier? When you did absolutely nothing to deserve it? Well, I don't know from experience..but I can guarantee it wasn't. We have a choice. We can walk away changed, or we can go back to our old ways. 

So I want to challenge you, and myself, with this: 

What have you been putting off that you know the Lord has been telling you to do? Whether it's to let go of a relationship that you know is bad for you, to reach out to someone who is hurting, to forgive someone that you've held a grudge against a day too long, or to turn away from that thing that captures your heart and takes your eyes off Jesus..I'm not really sure. But you are. 

So take the step and listen to what the Lord is doing in Your life. It's not gonna be easy, but He's not gonna let you down. I promise.

That's my challenge to you.

xKassiex

A Trip to 'Paradise'

Today we went to La Sirena. A mix between Walmart and Sam's club. Really a glimpse back home for us women who like shopping. OK..what woman doesn't like to shop? It's paradise. Although, tonight I wasn't feeling well. I was tired and really just wanted to be in bed.

Regardless, It was a 30 minute Caribe Tours bus ride there and back. The boys were really patient as we waited.

Honestly, I think it's the most relaxed I've been since I've been here. I put my headphones in and had a little guy on my lap and off we went. We bought some goodies for Aslan's upcoming birthday and had dinner in the cafeteria upstairs.

On the way back it was dark and raining. Perfect.

They turned the lights off in the bus and I snuggled up against the window with my youngest cousin Shepherd. We put my earbuds in and got settled for the ride. As his little elbows were rested against the window pane I remembered him saying his favorite song was "Come Awake" or..Christ is Risen. Much to his delight, when the current song ended I put his favorite on. He could hardly contain his excitement. "I weally wike dit tong" (I'll let you decipher that one on your own. *hint* saying it out loud helps.)

As we continued to drive, I took the moment in. Head to head, hand in hand I listened to the words that the same little guy in my lap listened to. My heart was overwhelmed as he tapped out the rhythm on my hand and nodded his head with the beat.

Whether he can fully comprehend the lyrics of the song yet, I don't know. But God knew that I needed that sweet moment with a precious little boy to fill my heart up. And I pray that one day I can share a moment like that with my own children. I'm so thankful.

Adjusting 7/08/2012 (One day I'll be current)

We went to church today. It was quite an experience. Although it was hot and a very long service, I enjoyed it. I didn't understand anything that was said, but I know that the other people there sure did. It was really awesome to see how on a whole different island people that speak a different language and live a different life would be able to worship the same God that we worship in our overly air-conditioned church.

It really put in perspective how great North Wake is. I think sometimes being there every Sunday puts you in a routine. A routine that sometimes tends to make you less aware of how much there is at North Wake. I love my church. I can't wait to become a member this year. I have so many people that I love there. People that are invested in my life and well being, family, best friends for 9 years..It really can't get much better. 

And then of course there's always the occasional..choreographed dance. 

Wait..what? Oh, you'll see..

You just witnessed a week of hardcore practice. 

Ok just kidding, it was only several hours. But that's just another great thing to say about the relationships I have at North Wake. We can spend hours bonding..and dancing. And eating junk food. And talking about boys. It's really great. 

The whole gang.

Boy talk

Junk food and post-rehearsal card game

Best group I could ask for, honestly

Even though I'm moving on to another part in my life and my youth group days are almost over, I could not have a better support system. And I am forever grateful for the amazing people and, Lord willing, life-long friends that I've made through His Church.




Looking out at the ocean everyday, especially at sunset, is a great reminder that this world is God's and we're just here for Him. It's hard to live that way. Because the food is good, the weather is nice, we have some really great friends-it's really easy to lose track of why we're here when life is comfortable.

But let me tell you..waking up to this will put you right back in your place.

This double rainbow stretched from the water over past the other side of the house. God is so gracious in the timing of His reminders.

xKassiex

Arrival 7/07/2012

I'm really bad about updating. I write everything down. But by the time I get around to typing it, I have to change it all to past tense. This is from the day that I arrived in the Dominican.


I arrived in the Dominican Republic yesterday around 4:30 pm. My flights were pretty good for the most part-the Lord was definitely gracious.

I don't know about you, but this makes me a little queasy. 

I've realized I have a lot of underlying fears about trust when traveling. Sometimes my mind wanders without me knowing. Sometimes I catch it and put it to an end. Sometimes...I encourage it and let it go ridiculous places. Don't we all.

My goal for right now is to keep my thoughts captive. I stumbled across 2 Corinthians 10:5 in the plane and it says "..and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Talk about God's timing. So that's my goal for this week. Not to fear man,  or planes, or crazy pilots, or disease, or death. But just live here, now, for Christ.

And as uneasy as that picture above made me feel..you tell me how uneasy this makes you feel..

I'd say it was worth it.

xKassiex